I haven’t had sex in more than a year, and the trek through my personal Mojave Desert is both enlightening and frustrating (for obvious reasons).
Why self-induced dryness? It all started at the end of 2015, when a hot guy in my friend’s Instagrams got me to stop rolling in the middle. After he double-clicked on his page, he let me know that the interest was achieved by slipping into my DM. For my joy and surprise at the same time, there was substance in our conversation. Shortly before the DM turned to text, the text became a phone call every day. I have a serious example, which is OMG- i-about -about- a-relationship- giddiness. But that didn’t last long. In the process of entering our territory, I learned that he had just gotten out of a long-term relationship and didn’t look for anything seriously. Instead of peace, let it go,
Obviously, things are a very healthy start.
I’ve been trying to tell myself that it’s cool that I have sex with a man who doesn’t want to be my boyfriend. Knowing that he was talking to other girls, I was calm. I’m cool, because it’s just sex and nothing else, because as r. kelly said, there’s nothing wrong with colliding and honing. Except that none of them are true, r. kelly should never be anyone’s advice.
Our generation tends to see sex as a means, not a privilege.
Still, I can’t stand the long position, and my DM casanova has become the catalyst for a shift in a deeper lifestyle. I’m tired of play the same scene with different people, so I don’t want to be talking about things, after we put our own situation into a Platonic friendship, I began to do something to mining in figuring out why I always engaged in do not agree with what I want.
Whether it’s my first boyfriend cheated on me, because I was afraid to abandon my V – or just because our generation often see sex means – a terminal, rather than a privilege, I was somehow believe to be a people like me are necessary, if I don’t do this, then he will disappear, this is my fault. Sad!!!!
So, in order to change this way of thinking, I decided that I was going to give up casual sex. I told myself I wouldn’t give up until the man I spoke to made me feel like a goddess. Stop worrying about other women, because the right person will make it clear that I am what he sees. Prosperity. The trouble is that finding that person and ending my charm may take longer than I thought.
In the last few months, I was fired up because I felt like I had finally regained my strength and no one could tear me down. But when I was more than six months old, the initial surge of self-empowerment began to disappear, and I found myself doubting the whole experiment and hoping to throw a towel. The cutin devil on my shoulder would say, “is this really important? Get some, girl! And in all honesty, I started to get angry, because all I have sprung up across is what, I like to call “sometimey” guy – I – just – in – it – when I want to do is – in the it guy. It was frustrating enough not to add to the fact that I had to get overwhelming sexual urges just to prove a point.
At the same time, some of my friends have come up with the idea of abandoning this unignorable journey. Because I am a single friend, some of my girlfriends prefer to rely on me instead, so I decided to give up the wild behavior of strangers as if I had locked them together. “Uh, bruner, it’s just sex, don’t think about it! They’ll tell me. I wonder if they are right.
Then, I might be from some of my friends and generous partners before fl have, may be a joke, but may be serious sexual invitations, freed me from the pain of the self temptation. At least, the temptation is highest. But in the end, I never gave in. I’m through power, because I owe myself, and if anyone understands why I’m doing it, it doesn’t matter.
After that hump (pun), the hormones are a bit settled (or they just give up). My urging became stifling, and I found myself close to the mark of a year – and I continued. I know that a week didn’t get any arrangement, for some, there may be a cruel and unusual punishment, although one year without any sexual intimacy is difficult, but it is not difficult for me. At first, my sex life didn’t get out of the way, so I didn’t avoid it everywhere I turned around. I went on a date as usual, but I didn’t really get rid of it.
Nonetheless, I found myself having mixed feelings about the whole experience. I realized that it was sad that I had walked for a year without meeting someone I liked and would be willing to invest in me. Why is that? Was it the man I chose, or was it the old-fashioned way, in an age when people didn’t value basic dating principles? I can’t say. All I know is that the proverbs kept in captivity do not make a man abandon his roster and make my MVP secret trick. But I can do that because it’s never a motive.
This experience is like giving yourself some tough love. As frustrating (sex and others) as that lesson was, it was necessary. I’ve done this experiment to help those who have to give up their sexual lives to stay interested and remind themselves that I deserve love without having to kick my legs first. I stuck to my guns, and for this reason, disappointment was overshadowed by huge pride. I wanted to stop putting myself in a scene that made me feel like a one-off, and I did. I want to wait for the guy who bet on me, and I’m still, because I know what I’m bringing to the table.