14 small moments let you feel the single autofocus
You’ve accepted the fact that you’re single. No, you’ve already hugged! You love life’s single life and all the bonuses (you don’t have to share a bed, you can keep your apartment at any temperature you want!) . However, certain things in life are purely to remind you of the state of your relationship. And each of these cases makes you say to yourself, “I’m single AF.”
1. Be invited to the wedding and be given a plus. But, you might say, “may I bring a bottle of sauvignon brandy as my plus?” You don’t mind going to a separate wedding, really, you don’t. However, the RSVP card must be sent back to the bride, because “to enjoy my ridged flesh alone, or die alone,” will become more painful and real every time.
Flowers thrown. When we talk about weddings, why do every wedding take a bunch of flowers to the single lady’s song? You used to love that song, but now, as soon as it happens, the dance floor, like the red sea, everyone turns and stares at you, and the single lady who’s single probably hasn’t caught a bouquet yet.
When your best friend gets a boyfriend. NNNOOOOOOOOooOOoOOooo! RIP, Friday night wings woman, Saturday afternoon brunch, happy hour intimacy. When it continues, T ‘is real.
Your kitchen pantry. It is basically an easy microphone box tilted tower and about nine bottles of your stored wine. And your fridge is filled with the rest of the take-out food, so your kitchenware doesn’t seem to be completely empty, just like your love life.
Create two recipes. You decide to cook a meal once, but each recipe can provide enough food for you and your boyfriend. God, what the hell is that? It’s hard to make a recipe for a single person, doesn’t your macaroni need to be humbling again? The only benefit is preparing dinner for the rest of the week. Let’s be realistic, you have no plan anyway.
Even the name on Facebook is unfolding right in front of you. One new day, a new Facebook notification, everyone except you is happily engaged. Or have been married or have no children. 5.
Almost every vacation. Very obvious reason for valentine’s day, Thanksgiving and Christmas/hanukkah is super interesting, when you don’t take you home, so your parents let you sleep in a gruesome room size double bed with the child, to make room aaall other happy couples. You’re happy for everyone! Really! That bed is the worst.
8. Emergency contacts must be listed on the form. Let’s see, the person you met on the Bumble, you’re the person who texted, or the best friend you’ve had since you’re married and pregnant. Or maybe you should write down your mother’s name 50 times. All you really want is to make your eyebrows peaceful and waxed.
Your mother. She likes to pry and love to remind you how bad her grandson is. She said, “I’m not going to live forever, you know,” when I was your age, I was married to two kids! If you feel good about being single, don’t visit your parents.
Family vacations. Your brothers and sisters are brought their important people, but you are flying alone, on one can’t stop crying babies and between an old man will not stop snoring in the middle of the seat. Your parents always encourage you to bring a friend, but you are deferential because you don’t need pity.
When you find a cockroach or something in your apartment. The only thing you can handle is you. The same goes for clogged sewers and broken toilets. You are your own.
12. The autumn. With all the hayrides, apple picks and new TV lineup, autumn is a good time to be a couple. But that doesn’t mean you’ll sit there and sulk. You’ll take time to prepare your badass haley’s Halloween costume, so you can be ashamed of all the couples’ outfits.
Clothes that are hard to wear. The dress was zipped behind the hard-to-reach. Those stupid hooks. Super tight dress. These things are too hard to put on/off, so you give up and put on something else.
Bad dates. You finally decided to go out with others, and they knew that the more you will be happy to cuddle up to you alone on the couch with your mermaid blanket bachelor’s glass with roses and red bean giant bath not to hear him tell his any longer. If that’s another option, being single is better.